Monthly Archives: May 2017

Helping a Shy Teen Come Out of Their Shell

Photo credit: https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2015/09/26/15/46/young-959231_960_720.jpg

Photo credit: https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2015/09/26/15/46/young-959231_960_720.jpg

What does it mean to be shy? Psychology today defines shyness as “the awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Unlike introverts, who feel energized by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don’t know how or can’t tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction.”

It’s important to understand the difference between shy and introverted. A common misconception is that all introverts are shy. This is not the case. Both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Shyness is the result of anxiety. It’s ok if your teen is quiet and there is no need to try to make them “liven up.” However, if their shyness hinders their communication with others, or limits them from doing things they want to do, then they might need some help in gaining some self-confidence so that they can come out of their shell.

Tips for helping teens rise above their shyness with confidence.

  • Help your teen pick a hobby or talent that they can master.
  • Give teens specific praise (a.k.a labeled praise) when they do well. Ex. You did a great job putting together that project board. OR Thank you for folding your laundry when asked.
  • Encourage them to learn from their mistakes rather than focusing on the outcome.
  • Be a positive role model for your teen. Model confidence.
  • Encourage your teen to get involved in the community like volunteering at a local organization or getting a part time job. Click HERE to read about local opportunities for teens.
  • Have a powerful discussion with your teen about something they are proud of, something they accomplished and how they did it.
  • Seek out a good role model for your teen. Click HERE for a list of mentoring programs and services in Jacksonville, FL.

 

Teaching Teens About Leadership With a Family Vacation

Photo credit: https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5575/14611719997_230ccbd21c_b.jpg

Photo credit: https://c1.staticflickr.com/6/5668/23914361922_525eed3a21_b.jpg

Let your teen make some important decisions.

Have your teen research possible destinations and activities for the family. Let them have a say in where you are going and/ or what you will be doing. This will make your teen more responsible and they will take ownership of the family vacation. They will be more likely to enjoy the trip.

If you already know where you are going, let your teen plan out one day or set up an itinerary for the family. Give them resources to help them make decisions. The hard part for parents will be committing to do whatever your teen has chosen. Discuss the itinerary together. You may have to help them work out certain things like transportation and managing time from one place to another, etc.

These are some helpful resources:

Google Maps

Weather.com

TripAdvisor

Teach your teen responsibility by giving them their own money to spend.

Every family needs to make a vacation budget. This is the perfect time to talk to your teen about how to manage money and allow them the chance to practice on their own. When planning the trip your teen can note how they want to spend their money and how much each item on their list will cost. Have them subtract these things from their total. If they have money left over help them decide how they could spend but don’t tell them how to spend it. If they are over budget guide them on how adjust their plan so that they can stay in budget.

Make your teen responsible for his/her own personal stuff.

Guide your teen in making a packing list of everything they need and want to bring on vacation. They can write it down on paper or use their phone to make a check list. Some great apps for this are Evernote and Asana. Also, the reminders app on the iphone can do this too. Look over their list with them and suggest anything you think they should add. Discuss what kind of luggage to take and predict how long packing will take.

Set expectations and rules before you leave.

Clear communication is important before you leave so that the whole family can have fun and create wonderful memories. To make sure that your vacation goes as planned talk to your teen about your expectations of their behavior. Have a family meeting or talk about it over dinner before you go. Let everyone have input.

Is your teen allowed to go off on their own? If yes, when and where?

Does your teen have a curfew?

What time will everyone need to be ready to go each day?

Family rules such as no fighting, cursing, drinking, smoking, etc.

No one is perfect, but express that you hope everyone understands that the rules are in place to ensure that the whole family has a great vacation.

Let your teen take the wheel.

We learn a tremendous amount from our experiences. If your teen has his/ her license let them drive. This a great chance for them to practice their driving skills.

Address any conflicts.

If there is an argument between anyone, your teen and you or a sibling, discuss it right away. Get to the heart of the matter and don’t dwell on it. You are on vacation and don’t want to waste time being mad or having anyone in the family mad at each other.

Allow a friend to tag along.

This can be a great opportunity to get to know one of your teen’s friends. Talk to their friend’s parents beforehand so everyone is comfortable. Exchange contact info and give the friend’s parents an itinerary. Be clear about expectations for the trip. The two teens may want to go off on their own. Express the importance of the rules and communication.

Have fun and make some wonderful memories.

Enjoy your time together as a family. Take lots of pictures and enjoy each other’s company. Keep a joint journal of your experiences with your teen. This could be online or written. When you return your pictures and journal would make a nice keepsake. You could put it all together in a book printed through Shutterfly or some other company.

 

Promoting Digital Citizenship in Teens

Photo Credit: https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2012/02/23/08/36/beautiful-15704_960_720.jpg

 

Creating a blog can be an extremely exciting, fulfilling, and educational activity. A blog is simply a regular, written record of your thoughts and opinions on anything – it’s just written online. It’s pretty simple to set up. Click HERE to get great advice from a successful Jacksonville teen blogger about how to get started.

Developing a personal brand is essential to every teen’s future. Branding is an important concept for teens to think about because more and more employers are using the internet to hire people. Additionally, more and more students are applying to colleges and universities and developing a personal brand that includes a blog can make you stand out to admissions. A blog is a creative display of one’s writing and critical thinking skills. It can have a positive effect on the future. Try it! It could be a positive experience and a great summer enrichment activity.

Getting Started

  1. Choose a blogging site such as WordPress or Blogger
  2. Follow the set up process. No need for premium services.
  3. Choose a name for your blog carefully. Make it easy to spell and say.
  4. Pick a theme. Make it look the way you want.
  5. If you want your own URL without the .wordpress.com you can do it later for a small price. Don’t worry with that just yet.
  6. Blog away!

Topics for your Blog

  • sports
  • video games
  • schoolwork and studying
  • religious activities/ attending church
  • Music events or music lessons
  • Lessons of any sort
  • spending time with family
  • school activities
  • fashion
  • current events
  • travel
  • summer camp review
  • community event
  • health
  • animals
  • food
  • restaurants

Blogging Tips from Sue Scheff

  • Use your name in the URL when creating your blog. For example yourname.wordpress.com
  • Take the time to review your blog settings, including the comments moderation. Are you comfortable with open comments or would you rather moderate them before they are posted?
  • Select a template that is easy to read for potential college recruiters and future employers. Remember this is not about your friends.
  • The Internet is public and permanent – so is your blog. Publish with care.
  • Keep it positive. If you are having a bad day, simply don’t post.