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Helping a Shy Teen Come Out of Their Shell

Photo credit: https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2015/09/26/15/46/young-959231_960_720.jpg

Photo credit: https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2015/09/26/15/46/young-959231_960_720.jpg

What does it mean to be shy? Psychology today defines shyness as “the awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Unlike introverts, who feel energized by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don’t know how or can’t tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction.”

It’s important to understand the difference between shy and introverted. A common misconception is that all introverts are shy. This is not the case. Both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Shyness is the result of anxiety. It’s ok if your teen is quiet and there is no need to try to make them “liven up.” However, if their shyness hinders their communication with others, or limits them from doing things they want to do, then they might need some help in gaining some self-confidence so that they can come out of their shell.

Tips for helping teens rise above their shyness with confidence.

  • Help your teen pick a hobby or talent that they can master.
  • Give teens specific praise (a.k.a labeled praise) when they do well. Ex. You did a great job putting together that project board. OR Thank you for folding your laundry when asked.
  • Encourage them to learn from their mistakes rather than focusing on the outcome.
  • Be a positive role model for your teen. Model confidence.
  • Encourage your teen to get involved in the community like volunteering at a local organization or getting a part time job. Click HERE to read about local opportunities for teens.
  • Have a powerful discussion with your teen about something they are proud of, something they accomplished and how they did it.
  • Seek out a good role model for your teen. Click HERE for a list of mentoring programs and services in Jacksonville, FL.